Rihanna recently sat down with Oprah for a very intimate interview where she explained what happened the night she and Chris Brown got into a fight. Rihanna tearfully admitted:

“I lost my best friend… everything I knew switched — switched in a night. And I couldn’t control that. It’s not easy to interpret on camera, not with the world watching.

I felt like the only person they hate right now is him. It was a weird, confusing space to be in.

Because as angry as I was — as angry and hurt and betrayed — I just felt like he made that mistake because he needed help. And who’s going to help him? Nobody’s going to say he needs help, everybody’s going to say he’s a monster, without looking at the source. And I was more concerned about him.”

First Look: Rihanna Opens Up About Chris Brown

On February 8, 2009, Rihanna and her then-boyfriend, R&B star Chris Brown, got into a heated argument while driving home from a pre-Grammy party. According to police reports, the argument escalated into a violent attack. Chris was arrested for assault and pleaded guilty. Now, Rihanna opens up to Oprah about the night she says she lost her best friend. Plus, find out why Rihanna felt protective of Chris despite her anger.

For more of Oprah’s interview with Rihanna, tune in Sunday, August 19, at 9/8c.